Tuesday 16 October 2012

[Single Review] Girls Aloud Fail (Hard) With Comeback Single "Something New"

Oh fabulous Girls Aloud, what have you done!?

You were once at the forefront of pop music, churning out brilliantly catchy tunes that not only won you a legion of loyal fans, but done the seemingly impossible for a manufactured band and had the critics eating out of your manicured hands too. Then you went on "hiatus" and I cried!

Listening to your new single, Something New, makes me wonder if perhaps you should have stayed split.

Something New is noisy, generic, and utterly throwaway; missing everything that was so great about Girls Aloud! There's no killer hook, no playful humour, and certainly none of that undefinable magic which once made Girls Aloud so great. Instead there's misplaced boasting- how can you be leading anything if you've just reformed!!- an awful melody, and an incredibly weak backing track! Let's be honest, Something New sounds like a Saturdays' reject track, which isn't a compliment considering they're essentially a poor man's Girl Aloud!

Something New is quite frankly soulless tripe, totally unbefitting of the greatness that was Girls Aloud! At least they're still rocking that "Girl Power" attitude! Small blessings, I suppose....

Rating: F (FAIL!)

2012 really seems to be a bad vintage for comeback singles.


  1. The song is a mess. But they never stuck to traditional structure of song production (verse-chorus-verse-chorus-middle8-chorus). The vocals are a mess, can't tell them apart.

  2. Yeah, you're right about the structure, I think that's added to the unconventional sound of some of their songs. But this doesn't hold a candle to any of their past hits. I'll even place it below their awful cover songs.

  3. Totally forgetful on every level, I expected some growth for each member, I mean some real talented and evolved vocals from the off, instead we get a shout off between them all, it's about as much fun as listening to roadworks while trying to get to sleep.
    Prodcution wise it's ugly, I mean the kind of ugly that would have you chew off your own arm after taking a right munter home on a night out rather than wake them up.
    It's a shame as they are capable of so much more, clearly they should never have bothered, maybe released a statement saying they would do one or two live gigs then called it a day, nobody with an ounce of taste should like this, if they do then they need to hang their heads in shame...tut tut!

  4. wait what.... girls aloud are an all time favorite of mine ,even my mum liked them and this is bad ....totally Saturdays. they all developed individual styles and i expected them to shine in a new comeback but no.....they sound like Hannah Montana trying to rap http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mc07nyrN7K1rfduvxo1_500.gif

  5. I love Girls Aloud and am honestly really liking this song. Sounds like all the old Girls Aloud stuff to me, the bulk of the actual singing is done by Nadine Coyle. As it should be. Love her. I don't get why she has never been more popular, she can sing and is most beautiful after Cheryl.

  6. And since when were they any good at rapping?! FFS.

  7. I once had to edit some audio of Nadine talking for an interview, and I genuinely couldn't understand a word. It made it very difficult!

  8. That track is nothing more than synth layers of bog fodder messiness.

    It's supposed to be a dance floor filling sing along girl power anthem. You know , because there are hardly any of those types if songs.